new and looking for tips/advice

MistressNikki · 07-26-2010 (07/26/2010 15:32:25)

First off i am a pretty kinky person. Me and my man like to try new things. I am into slight bondage and am a bit of a masochist. Nothing too hardcore. We both want to try the domanatrix thing. He's a little self-consious about it though and worried he'll get embarrased. He is usually a bit more dominating in bed....and the whole "im a man" thing lol. But the thoughtof it reallydoes intriguehim.Any tips for him? And for me, I want to be a good Dominatrix!

Also whilehe is dominating in bed he doesnt get rough enough with me. Like I said before I like a little pain. He does bite which is awesome and will pull my hair &smack my ass. I want him to go further. I want to be slammed up against the wall, called names, and punishedthat sort of stuff. I've never had it done but the thought turns me on: I wouldnt mind a little smack in the face here and there. Also I really like a hand around the base of my throat, he's only done this once. He is afraid to hurt me. How can I convince him I'm not made of glass?

pet · 07-27-2010 (07/27/2010 06:51:05)

I'd suggest that you see if there is a gateway program for a lifestyle fetish group in your town or close it would be a great way to talk to others and even meet others that may be able to break that 4th wall and help you to find what you are seeking.

Firstly it feels to me that your man is a switch, he has the interest in bottoming but can not get it out of his head that it's okay to be so but he is also dominating in bed. If you like it rougher in bed set some thing that take you both out of the mindset that you are with your SO like doing some roleplay in fetish gear and maks, change you name in the scene to a scene name that puts you and him in a proper place that you can find the beast that you are seeking.

MistressNikki · 07-28-2010 (07/28/2010 12:41:54)

thanks for the reply! How would I go about finding a fetish group? I mentioned the role playing to my SO and it seemed like he'd be interested. I told him there isn't anything that he would want to do in bed that would make me say "OMG, freak." and that he has no reason to be embarrased. I tried role playing before, kinda the whole professor/student thing. He seemed to really enjoy it but couldnt really stay in character, in fact he never really played the part. It was mostly me acting and talking. But like I said i could tell he enjoyed quite a bit. I wish I could get him to open up more in his sexuality. He's 26 and has never been in a totallyuninhibitted(sp) and kinky sex life relationship we have. So I know he's not used to it but I dont know what to do, he talks like he wants to be more uninhibitted in bed but doesnt act on it much.

I think to get him to get rougher with me I am gonna try a little resistance play, since he can be dominate in bed I figure if I resist then he'll have to get rougher if he wants it

pet · 08-02-2010 (08/02/2010 11:17:16)

There are a couple of other sites I'm going to refer you to that may also provide you some kinky kontacts such as alt.com & collarme.com also I did a very simple search in yahoo for "BDSM lifestyle group Clarksville , Tennessee" & found one site that looks promising in my mind - http://www.drkdesyre.com/meetppl/orgs/orgstenn.htmlit list a Clarksville ALS Mini-Munch - Support and Social Munch for Alternative Lifestylers. This page does look dated but it may give you a starting place.